Propaganda And Those Neat Orange Arrows

While watching reruns of Law & Order off of TiVo last night, I was once again assailed by self-righteous agitprop. I was treated to one of those “Truth” ads. You know, the anti-smoking ads created by the barking moonbats of Good Ole NYC. It’s quite amusing how amazingly thick skulled these people are. And I imagine that lung cancer and emphysema can’t be cause by Bong/Joint/Blunt smoke either? But, we can’t protest all smoking. That would be bad, and harsh out buzz. What we really want to punish is corporations. Even though they are just making money off of something that people do anyway. But, remember, these are college age neohippies.

Personally, I quite enjoy my cigarettes. My friends and I jokingly call them Cancer Sticks, Coffin Nails, etc. In England, we all know they are all called fags. So, would that mean these “Truth” kids are protesting themselves? Smoking is a social thing. It is, oddly due to its nature as a stimulant and vasoconstrictor, a relaxation thing. It’s a time filler, a time killer and a time keeper. We smoke them at bars while having a beer. We smoke after really good sex. We smoke after a good meal, or whenever our habit leads us to grab those few drags. And we do it willingly.

It would seem that these neohippies, who barely made it by into a Communications Degree, haven’t figured out that grown adults can make up their own minds. We have had warnings on cigarette packs for decades. We have heard all the propaganda. We’ve heard this and we’ve heard that and we’ve been forced to listen to this anti-smoking screed and the myths about second hand smoke ad nauseum. We’ve lost the ability to smoke in restaurants, public places and even in bars. All because the “progressives” (Insert heavily sarcastic and derisive tone of voice here) think that we need to be saved from ourselves. These are the same people that bash missionaries and deride the good works of the Body of Christ. They want to save the world when they barely were able to save themselves from failing Algebra 101. And, they sure as hell don’t want anyone profiting off of what we, of our free will, while living in a free country, have already decided that we were going to do.

Of course Librofascism hates tobacco companies. These companies actually understand the capitalist system, which they see as effective, and make it work. This will piss off a Librofascist, because they still think that socialism might still work, maybe, one day, somewhere, if they try hard, and maybe click their heels while chanting, ”There’s no man like Che. There’s no man like Che. There’s no man like Che.” But the tobacco companies see a product that is consumed, in large quantities daily, that people consciously choose to purchase, and they decide they might as well profit off of it. Are they forcing these cigarettes down someone’s throat? Nope. They are merely playing the supply-and-demand aspect of our capitalist, market driven economy. And the unwashed, protesting masses are enraged because we’re practicing our free wills, but not how they want us to. And we didn’t even ask them permission to even HAVE an independent thought. Well, that, and we can afford a pack of smokes while they’re out collecting cans for Ramen.

Here is a very important newsflash for the “Truth” people: We already know smoking has risks. But we weigh the risks, and keep on keeping on. And we are humans with vices. You are never going to end smoking, or bring “Big Tobacco” down. You are wasting your time, my TV watching enjoyment, and blocking commerce in a major American city. So, you little Librofascist, pseudo-intellectual, whiny, ballbag “truth” folks can just chill the fuck out. Maybe have a nice relaxing smoke. Stop being such a bunch of British Cigarettes!

Damn, I need a smoke!

-Jesse W.